Since returning from my time on the wild Northwest Coast, I’m feeling so much clarity, and equally as much not-knowing.
It feels so good to acknowledge this (not-knowing) and just allow it to be this way.
So many things are shifting in my world right now, and I know I’m not alone in this.
We are collectively in a time of deep healing. It is not all rainbows and unicorns.
We are facing, front and center, the deep collective shadow that has been buried for hundreds if not thousands of years.
As someone who holds space for others in the powerfully transformative space of grief, I’ve been reminded of some essential stuff these past few weeks of entering back into the world of my work.
- We cannot pour from an empty vessel – as grief tenders, our own nervous system wellness is paramount.
- Especially with ritual work, we are constantly asked to listen deeply for what is ripe or ready, and what needs more time.
There is a time for everything – including the Sacred Pause.
Over the years, the more I’ve stepped into my own health and well-being, the more I’ve recognized the non-negotiable value of moving at the pace of the body and the nervous system.
We cannot be a part of the deep change that is needed in our collective system without giving our own nervous systems the opportunity to renegotiate their relationship to the world, to each other and to ourselves.
And that renewed relationship must be one that includes cycles of deep rest and integration.
My nervous system has been calling me to a deeper, quieter tending of self for many years.
Probably my whole life.
I was reflecting this morning about my passion for surfing in my early 20’s.
While surfing is a beautiful sport, it is definitely also adrenaline filled.
I think I needed it when I was young, just to be able to feel myself.
This was long before I discovered Somatic Therapy!
When I became a mom at age 25, my focus shifted, but my relationship with adrenaline kept me going in a different way.
As an only-parent for the first 11 years of my 17 year old son’s life, I had to embody a lot more “Yang” energy than I would have preferred.
I was always exhausted and pushing my body, and on some level it was the perfect fit for the survival strategies that were imprinted into my nervous system at birth.
But as we age – and for women especially as we begin to touch perimenopause, our bodies say, “Enough.”
You can’t survive like that anymore.
Our cells are like, “Give us some of that juicy YIN energy!! We are dry AF!! Literally!” (LOL)
As I’m entering perimenopause, I’m deeply grateful that I’ve been practicing Relational Somatic work for over 15 years now.
I’m blessed to have a deep grounding in embodied awareness.
I’m blessed to have a strong enough ability to sense my body’s communication signals so that these signals can at least somewhat compete with my (also very strong) adaptive strategies/trauma patterns that have long kept me in overdrive / go mode / YANG energy.
I’ve learned how to practice pausing – slowing down – resting.
And now, I’m experiencing the thing I always talk about – both grief and gratitude – as I let go of something that has been so beautiful for me these past five years, in favour of some deep rest.
I’ve facilitated (I think – though honestly I’ve lost count…) 15??!! retreats in the last 4 years.
It has been amazing – beautiful – heart opening – deeply moving – fulfilling – all-the-things.
I’ve gotten to meet, on a very deep level, some incredible, courageous humans.
And, it has been a LOT.
So I’m both grateful and grieving in this decision I announced last week, that I am going to be taking a break.
After our October 3-6 retreat at Halfmoon Haven, I’ll be stepping back from this work for at least 12-18 months, possibly longer.
I’ve been hearing from some of you that you feel sadness around this – but please don’t despair.
This isn’t a decision I’ve made lightly, but rather one that’s emerged from listening carefully to the whispers of my own system and the signs all around me.
And this is not an end, exactly.
It is a deep pause in order to listen to what wants to emerge next.
This pause feels like returning to the roots – literally and metaphorically.
I’m excited to focus my energy on our Roots of Ritual Grief Tending Foundations Facilitation Training, (which is all online) deepening that foundational offering.
Our first cohort happened this year – we just finished in August.
It was already so good.
But we’re going to get deeper.
And, I’m going to allow my own roots to drink deeply from the well of rest from in-person work.
AND….I’m excited to work more deeply on the book!!!!
(That is going to take some SPACE I realize!!)
And I’m excited for the restructuring that is taking place for the Level 2 & 3 Facilitation Internship/Mentorship/Trainings. (That’s coming soon too, and will definitely include some in-person retreat work, I just don’t know exactly what it’s going to look like yet…)
The truth is, we have to be willing to release what is ready to be released – to let die what is ready to die.
And to be in the “Not-Knowing” for a time.
Life comes in cycles, and we are a part of that.
In his poem The Way Under the Way (which I also shared with you a few days ago, but here it is again…), Nepo says,
“Ultimately,
we are small living things
awakened in the stream,
not gods who carve out rivers.
Like human fish,
we are asked to experience
meaning in the life that moves
through the gill of our heart.
There is nothing to do
and nowhere to go.
Accepting this,
we can do everything
and go anywhere.” – Nepo
(I feel like I’m living inside this poem this last month.)
Mother of the Deep by Autumn Skye Morrison
So here I am, with you.
Both of us small living things awakened in the stream of life.
We can only go with the flow, feeling the currents, sensing the best route, choosing the choices that are ours to make and surrendering to the rest.
It is time for us, collectively, to stop clinging to the riverbank and let go into life.
And to do this, we’ve got to be able to grieve.
Otherwise, we keep ourselves and our beloveds stuck, rather than flowing, in the life-death-life river.
Grieving done well is just this – praising and letting go of what was so we can honour what is now – and now – and now – and now.
And “now” is not always easy to be in. In fact, most of the time, if we’re honest, it’s really difficult.
And yet, as Mark Nepo says:
“We cannot eliminate hunger,
but we can feed each other.
We cannot eliminate loneliness,
but we can hold each other.
We cannot eliminate pain,
but we can live a life
of compassion.” – The Way Under the Way
Which brings me to this invitation: there are still a few spots available for our October 3-6 retreat. This will be the last opportunity to sit together in ritual at Half Moonhaven for quite some time—perhaps until fall 2026 at the earliest. If you’ve been feeling called to this work, to this particular container, I encourage you to trust that calling.
Sometimes the Spirit moves us toward endings that are also beginnings.
Sometimes, the non-negotiability of death ends things long before we’re ready, and we find ourselves scrambling to find any ground at all under our feet.
Often, pausing and allowing ourselves to be fully inside of the Unknown is the most sacred and aligned action we can take.
If the October retreat is speaking to you, I’d love to have you join us for this final gathering before the pause. The pause before the pause, we could say. 🙂
With love & gratitude,
Josea
Also, I’m super excited to announce that applications are now open for our 2026 Roots of Ritual Grief Tending Foundations Training, with Early Bird pricing & super extended payment plans available until November 1st. More details can be found at www.darkwoodsofgrief.com
